There was a printed sign above a toilet in the Parliament: ‘This toilet is only for use by elderly, disabled, pregnant children.’

Another prominent notice over the urinals in the Parliament: ‘Please flush the toilet after use’. Someone has written under it: ‘Why should I? I’ve got an assistant for that.’

EU Directive 456179: ‘In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase ‘Spending a penny’ is not to be used after 31st December 2007.  From this date, the correct terminology will be: ‘Euronating’.